I’m so stressed, SO stressed. I shouldn’t be but whatever I mean I’m leaving on the 30th til the 5th of August to take care of my cousins in Miami, but I’m pretending that I don’t know that open house is on the 4th and I won’t be here for it. I’m gonna try to get my mom to go herself to get my schedule and everything. And I have to get my supplies, new clothes DEFINITELY new clothes because seriously I have nothing and it probably sounds really selfish some people actually have nothing lol but I hate when people try to bring that card out tbh anyways I need new stuff, basically new everything and the month is already over halfway done. It’s like August is creeping up on me and I don’t want it to come. Basically from now I have about twelve days left until I have no more freedom. Actually even now I have none. I try to sleep as much as I can so I can catch up on it but nothing’s working. I’m gonna die when school comes again, seriously. Waking up at 4:30-4:45am is gonna be a bitch I’m gonna wanna kill myself. This year is gonna be real bad when it comes to the amount of sleep I’ll be able to get, I can tell. I’m gonna be up to my eye balls in college work and actual school work and fshgjakfhg. I don’t even know how I’m up right now even though for the past two weeks I’ve been going to sleep at 6 or 7am, but I wanna write and write and sleep and write and sleep. And it’s even worse to think about having to buy new things because I’m definitely going to have to depend on my dad which I hate doing ‘cause I can’t count on him for anything, he lets me down time and time again and I love him and he’s like Superman ‘cause all he does is work and work but whatever, since now that we renewed our lease here it’s even more expensive than last year and mom is cutting back on everything. And I wanna help her out so bad, I wish I could just find a job but I’m having so much trouble finding one it’s killing me, not only do I want money for myself but to add to the stack of money to pay for everything. She threatened to take Netflix off because even that $16 a month is killing her. I didn’t think it would get this bad. This sucks I really wish money wasn’t a problem but it always seems to come back around. I thought our problems ended when we moved out of that house we lived in two years ago but I guess not. And I miss someone, a lot. And I keep fucking catching myself crying over the dumbest things lately it’s pissing me off, like my anger gets the best of me and it suddenly turns into tears and I feel like throwing people into traffic. I don’t even know anymore but who I miss is obviously someone who I shouldn’t miss but lol what’s new!!

and this blog…yeah I’m just gonna use this blog to talk a lot of shit now sorry